Role of beliefs in shaping our lives

Webuild our belief system all along our lives. With every experience we gothrough and according to the outcome of the experience we gain a new beliefabout ourselves and our abilities and depending on this belief we have somefeelings that we behave according to.

Thebeliefs we gained when we were young have huge impact on our lives even afterwe grew up. Think of a situation when you were young and where you wereacknowledged, appraised and encouraged, how do you feel every time you rememberit or when you go through a similar experience? Think of another one where youwere blamed and criticized, how do you feel about it? Do you accept to gothrough it again? Forme, in the first situation, I feel proud of my achievement, self confident,valuable and believe in my capabilities. In the second I may feel guilty,ashamed, un-confident and I may avoid going through the same experience again.In both cases the outcome of the experience is the cause of my belief and forsure if I had another outcome in both experiences, I would have a differentbelief about it although I am the same person.

Weall had gained a set of empowering beliefs about ourselves and our capabilitiesduring our childhood and youth and these beliefs were due to the outcomes of the different experiences we went through, these beliefs are serving us, supportingus and they are the reason behind our success and happiness. And another set ofdisempowering and limiting beliefs which are the reason behind our lack of selfconfidence, self esteem and unhappiness. I like to call it limiting more thandisempowering because it expresses how these beliefs are preventing us fromreaching the unlimited opportunities we can find in life. These beliefs causenegative feelings and negative self talk that always tell us that we are notgood, we don’t deserve, why make effort while we know that we will fail, it’suseless to try, and many other patterns of negative self talk. The limitingbeliefs and the negative self talks are a fact in our life, who of us didn’texperience these kinds of negative thoughts? But the difference betweendifferent people is how they deal with their inner negative self talk. Theessential is to be aware when the negative self talk starts and how to silenceit.

Itisn’t impossible to replace our disempowering and limiting beliefs by morepositive ones that serve and support us to achieve more success but we need togo through some steps to reach the goal of getting rid of a limiting belief.
Iwill share with you some tips that worked for me to let go my limiting beliefs andreplace this negative self talk about myself by a more positive one.
  • ·        Repeatingaffirmations (positive and empowering statements) daily. It brings a greatpositive energy.
  • ·        Keepinga list of my previous successes and achievements and reviewing it regularly orwhen I feel down.
  • ·        Writingabout different situations I went through and their outcomes and examine howthis limiting belief has badly influenced my life and think about how toreplace it.
  • ·        Surroundmyself with positive people to support me when I am down and to remind me ofthe positive and the achievements in my life.

Theseare some structures that worked for me, so feel free to share (in the commentsbox) what worked for you in the past or what you think may work for you to letgo your limiting beliefs; and feel free to send your questions, I will be gladto support you.

Moving Past Fear

According to Cambridge online dictionary, Fear is “an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful or bad that is happening or might happen”, which means that if you perceive a situation as  dangerous, painful or bad you have this feeling or thought of fear. So it depends on your perception of what is happening or might happen, not the reality, that you have the feeling. Interesting!
We may feel fear when we have to do something for the first time. For example, for someone who has to speak in front of hundreds of people for the first time, it is normal that they feel fear in this situation, and it is normal that their fear diminishes as they keep doing this over and over again. Their perception of the situation (and their feelings) will change every time they do it successfully. We may feel fear after a bad experience; a child who was subject to drowning in water may never forget this bad experience and could never try to learn to swim again. In this case, fear is not normal, as there are millions of people who go into the water every day without feeling any fear. The child’s perception of the experience is that it is dangerous; he will feel fearful until he changes this perception or he will keep this attitude forever. Therefore, in any perceived situation, there is a certain thought that causes a specific feeling that initiates our behavior. So our perceptions and our thoughts in the beginning are the cause behind the feeling of fear that we have. If we think what thoughts come to our mind when we are fearful, we realize that they are all negative thoughts. We could ask ourselves tens of “What If” questions that are usually the worst that could happen and eventually augment our fear.

For me, the most fearful moments relate to my sons. When they were younger, whenever anyone of them was severely injured or fell ill, I would feel terribly scared. Now, I feel fearful when I think they aren’t secure. Recently, because there was trouble in my country during the past few months, I wished I could keep them at home at all times but obviously I couldn’t; they had to go to school and to the club for their workouts while having to hear every day about kidnaps and riots in different areas of the city. It was a really hard time for me and I had to do something about it. I realized that I was always assuming the worst and this worst never happened. I realized that my thoughts were controlling how I felt, and as long as I was thinking negatively, I would never feel better. So, in similar situations, I started to not let negative thoughts creep into my mind, I remained alert to not let ‘What If’ questions start. I stood at the gateway of my mind, preventing any negative thought to come in.

Fear will never disappear from our lives. Sometimes it is good because it keeps us alert in dangerous situations, but most of the time it is not real; it depends on our perceptions and our thoughts. Moving past our fears totally depends on us. All we need is to resist our negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones and to stop assuming worst-case scenarios. If we cannot stop this, being prepared to face and deal with the worst case that could happen can be a powerful way to overcome our fears.

This post is part of a blog hop series sponsored by studentsand graduate Coaches of ICA. Please hop on over to their posts and see whatelse you can learn about ”Moving Past Fear”.
Intuitive Coaching:
In Sight Life Coaching:
GreenMountain Enrichment and Empowerment Center (Gotocoach):
Learner Focused Coaching: 
Kick Ass Website Coach : 
Joyful Growth Coach:
Esme Gosling – Money Coach: 

Aurora Beams

I was looking for a name, an inspiring name, for my coaching blog. A name that signifies a new start, a new beginning and a new life. For me coaching means making a change or even a transformation which also means starting a new path in personal life or in professional life; change in lifestyle, beliefs, behaviors, job or even change of career. So I needed to find a name that expresses a new start.

I thought about Sunrise, I found it so expressive. It symbolizes not only a new start but hope as well, we all relate, in all cultures, a new day to hope but I found another coach who uses the same name for her page on face book so I decided to find another one for my blog and my fan page on facebook as well. I have a close friend who is a translator so I decided to ask for her help and she came up with the fantastic name AURORA, I felt so excited about it and I felt it really expresses what I want to say. I thought about making it Aurora  Lights but my friend suggested Aurora Beams as it gave the sense of direction. 

That’s exactly what coaching do. It helps to find a new start in the right direction so using the name to express new start with direction is so inspiring, at least for me for the moment and I hope it does for my clients. I liked to share the story of my blog’s name with you and next Monday, at 1:00 PM Cairo time, I will publish my first post on it. I hope you find value in all of my posts and they can help you to face life’s challenges or solve some of your problems and I will be glad to help you to do it. Please share with me your stories, your comments and your questions I will be glad to support you any time.