2 strategies to boost self confidence and self esteem


Self-confidence is having or showing confidence inyourself and your abilities (Merriam Webster learner’s dictionary).

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology toreflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his/her ownworth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (Wikipedia).
Empowering something that is empowering makes youmore confident and makes you feel that you are in control of your life (Cambridgedictionaries online).
Disempowering is to cause a person to be less likelythan others to succeed; to prevent them from having power, authority, orinfluence (Merriam Webster learner’s dictionary).
 So self-confidence is the belief about our self-worth (self-esteem)and our ability of achievement, and depending on the beliefs we hold about ourself-value and our abilities our lives will be. If the beliefs we hold areempowering we will feel more confident and in control of our lives andhence capable of succeed, but if our beliefs are dis-empowering or limiting we feelpowerless,  fearful, unworthy and less able to succeed.

 Usually our limiting self beliefs are due to unsuccessful experiences early in our life like childhood and youth. Letting the outcomes of such early experience control our life is not the right thing to do and it doesn’t serve us so we need to examine them and find out how to deal with them. On a previous post I discussed how our limiting beliefs can cause low self confidence and low self esteem and I mentioned some tips that worked for me to change my negative self talk that the limiting beliefs caused. On this post I like to talk about two very important strategies to fight lack of self confidence. 

The first one is courage which is defined as the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficultsituation. So if we lack self confidence because of a fear we feel when we face a certain situation, the best way to improve our self confidence is to face the situation we fear most. As much as we face the situation we will  be able to let go of the fear and improve our self confidence. It can be made gradually, for example someone who has stage fright and can’t speak in public, by rehearsing to speak in front of a small group of friends or family members can be a good start. Then by increasing the number and inviting more people their self confidence will develop and grow.


“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect.There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. Sowhat? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger andstronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and moresuccessful.” ~ Mark Victor Hansen ~


The second one is taking actions, even small ones. Procrastinating till later, till you are ready, or till everything is perfect is not a good way to create motivation. Taking regular actions toward our goal encourages and empowers us to take more steps and more actions,  it brings momentum and with every step taken we build our self confidence.


What useful strategies or tips worked for you to improve your self confidence and overcome your fears?
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Leaving my fears behind

For me 2011 were one of the best years of my life, it was the year of achievement, change, clarity and great awareness. During this year, I knew myself more than any time else. I could realize how I see and treat myself. I learned what I need more of and what I need to let go. I learned for the first time in my whole life that I am responsible for my choices and that these choices create my life; so I am responsible for most of what is happening in my life. It was a great awareness that brought to me huge clarity and now I think I can live a happier and more fulfilling life.

One of the things that I learned in 2011 is to say “No”. “No” to time wasters, “No” to energy drainers, “No” to anything that doesn’t matter to me and won’t bring me any value or benefit; All this learning I intend to take it with me in 2012, only one “No” I will leave, it’s “No” to new opportunities, trying new things that I don’t know. I used to avoid anything I am not familiar with, I wasn’t fan of trying new things, even when I decide to try something new it must be tried by someone else and they found it OK. I wasn’t ready to take any risk. I was limiting myself in a very small area and depriving myself from the pleasure of living a new experience with the pleasure and fun it may bring. 

Eventually I decided to break this limiting fear of trying new things, I had an opportunity to talk on a program in our local radio and as usual I had this negative inner self talk “What if I couldn’t talk confidently? What if I made any mistakes? My voice is not OK….. ” and due to this self talk I thought about apologizing but I got a question that totally shifted my attention and my mind ” Why don’t I look at it from a curiosity perspective? How a radio program is recorded? How this place look like? How the announcers work?” and I found myself  excited about the idea and so curious to go and live this moment. I could convince myself that it’s just a talk with a friend about what is coaching and what I do as a coach, I’ve done it before with my friends and all noticed how excited I am about it so why not think of it the same way. I did it and it worked very well. We talked for more than an hour and they recorded 3 parts that will be submitted on their weekly program for three successive weeks. 

It was exciting and a great achievement to beat this limiting fear and since then I decided to leave the “No for doing something new” behind me forever and live with a new mindset, to look for every opportunity to try new things. This is the best way to rediscover  my undiscovered talents and abilities.

This post is part of a blog hop series sponsored by studentsand graduate Coaches of ICA. Please hop on over to their posts and see whatelse you can learn about ”What did you learn from 2011 that you’ll change in2012?”.
Joyful Growth Coach
Coachinu
Intuitive Coaching
Learner Focused Coaching
Bodacious Possibilities
Turning Stones Coaching and Consultancy
 What I am is What I Choose

http://whatiamiswhatichoose.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/what-did-you-learn-from-2011-that-youll-change-in-2012/