In my postlast week I talked about the feeling of guilt I had experienced during longyears of my life and how it left me unhappy and drained most of the time. Inthis post, I will share some ideas I believe can help to reduce the feeling ofguilt most of women experience at one stage or the other in her life.
9 Tips to Dealwith the Feeling of Guilt
1- Beclear about your values and your standards: Focus on living a life according toyour values and don’t compare yourself and your children to others, justcompare them to your own standards. When your life is aligned with your valuesand your standards, you will feel more peaceful and more satisfied.
2- Believe in yourself: When you believe in yourself, you believe in yourcapabilities and you feel more confident so it will not be easy for others tomake you feel guilty. If you lack self-confidence and self-esteem, you can askfor the support of a professional to help you find out the reason of your lowself-esteem and help you overcome it.
3- Avoidpeople who reproach and criticize you or reduce your time with them: I believethat people who reproach or criticize others suffer low self-esteem and theyproject this feeling on others by finding their faults. This act makes themfeel better about themselves. These people are energy drainers. Avoid them asmuch as possible or at least minimize your time with them and don’t take whatthey say personally. Just let go of it and consider it as if they are talkingabout someone else.
4- You have the right to say NO, when you avoid people or activities that are notmaking you any good you are honoring your happiness and your well-being; sodon’t feel guilty when you say No to someone who is draining your energy orsomething that is not adding any value to your life. Your happiness is yourresponsibility; so protect it and say a big NO to anything that is notsupporting it.
5- Deal with open issues to reduce the feeling of guilt: unresolved issues andunfinished projects are usually a source of guilty feelings, so for yourhappiness make-up your mind and finish pending issues or projects or totallyforget about them.
6- Bekind to yourself and acknowledge yourself: Notice how you speak to yourself. Doyou speak kindly to yourself and acknowledge what you are doing? If you are notable to be kind to yourself, how do you expect others to be kind to you? Youteach others how to treat you. Be your best friend, how do you treat your bestfriend?
7- Accept the fact that we all make mistakes: Makingmistakes is not a sin, we all did and will do mistakes; it’s our way to learn.So if you made a mistake just accept it and find out what you can do toimprove the situation. If you can, do it or let it go for good, feelingguilty won’t change anything. It’s over.
8- Forgive yourself and others: Forgiveyourself when you have made mistakes, accept it and forgive others for theirmistakes, it is the only way to get rid of the feeling of guilt. Forgiveness isrecommended for your sake as the release of anger you are holding in your heartactually harms you not the person you are angry with.
9- Whatyou focus on increases: For the sake of your children, stop reproaching and criticizingthem for their mistakes and start acknowledging them for theirachievements. Do not nurture their feeling of guilt. When you appreciateyour children’s efforts and their positive behavior, they will be encouragedto do more of the positive behavior to get more of your acknowledgement.Sometimes children behave inappropriately to grab your attention when theappropriate behavior doesn’t. They need your attention and youracknowledgement, so focus on the encouragement and acknowledgement toenthuse them to do more of the good behavior.
We areliving in a new era, new environment, new mentality and new circumstances. Whywaste our time in negative thoughts and feeling while we can shift to morepositive feelings that bring happiness and satisfaction? All we need is to letgo of all thoughts, feelings or behaviors that are not serving us anymore andreplace them with new ones that are supporting us on our life journey and honorour happiness and well-being.