What does self-love mean to you?

When we love someone we forget everything and anything; our main focus becomes the person we love. We become so caring and so tender. We think only of how to please them, how to make them happy, comfortable and satisfied. We may forget our own needs but we will never forget their needs. It’s easy for us to love our parents, our spouses, our kids, our friends, our neighbors or whomever we may know but we think it’s very difficult to love ourselves.
Self-love is one of the things that many of us may find extremely challenging. I remember when I heard the term self-love for the first time, it sounded weird to me. The word self-love is related to selfishness, it’s someone who loves themselves and don’t think about others. We are not taught how to love ourselves. So strange! When we don’t love someone we neglect, under value, disrespect, and are not willing to forgive them. So if you don’t love yourself you will neglect, under value, disrespect and not be willing to forgive yourself. This is typically what is happening to many of us. We are so harsh to ourselves, although we can forgive others for their mistakes, we don’t forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Although we can be kind to others we can’t be kind to ourselves. We can be patient with others but we can’t be patient with ourselves. We do our best to make others happy while we don’t even know what makes us happy. We extremely care about others needs while we don’t care about our own needs. It’s unfair. 
The above was a part of the post I was trying to write a few days ago about self-love but I couldn’t go further. Although I found the topic so interesting, I didn’t find anything else to say but yesterday I went through a negative experience that made me feel frustrated, down and started to blame myself. I felt so stressed out, but after giving it some thought, I asked myself why I was so harsh to myself, I have done nothing wrong, it is normal that sometimes things don’t go the way I wanted. Would I blame myself this way if I had enough self-love, self-acceptance and self-trust?  I think not. When we have enough self-love and self-acceptance, we are kinder and tenderer to ourselves. We acknowledge, appreciate, and value whatever we do even when the results are not as we expected. We believe we did our best; we acknowledge our effort and even reward ourselves. Since I believed that I have done my best, I decided to acknowledge myself for the work I have done so far, reward myself and take a day off. I intend to relax and meet some friends and enjoy my day with them. I invite you to do the same if you have worked hard for the past few days; just reward and acknowledge yourself for what you have done so far. 
“Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you?”
Absolutely true! I think it is logical. If we don’t know how to love ourselves how can others love us or how will we be able to love others? If we don’t know how to be happy, how will others be able to make us happy or how will we be able to make others happy? It’s not that hard to love and value yourself but if you don’t know how to do it; just become yourself your best friend and think how you would treat your best friend. You will immediately know how to treat yourself and how to love yourself.
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Could we fear happiness?

This is one of my old posts of my blog My Happiness Journey. I hope you like it.

      

 I thought I learned everything about how to make myself happy, I learned it’s my choice, I learned that repeating positive affirmations to gain self confidence, self love and self respect  can really help to lead to positivity and happiness. I learned  that happiness is my own responsibility.  I learned that likes attract likes, so if I am happy I will attract happy people into my life.  In spite of that I didn’t take any action toward my happiness.

    Do I feel more comfortable this way? Am I more familiar with negative thoughts and unhappiness? Am I more familiar with complaining and I am not sure what else to do or say if I don’t find something to complain about?  Am I afraid to look different from others?  I don’t like to look different and hence to be noticed.
How will I communicate with them?  Am I afraid of their sarcasm and mockery? They may think I became mad. 
Why do we feel more comfortable or familiar with the negative approach we all tend to adopt in our life? We are all complaining, no matter what we have and what level of wealth are we living in, we just complain. Complaints are a common factor in all our conversations everywhere. 

    Am I afraid of looking better, more beautiful, shinning, energetic and enthusiastic?  Am I afraid of my response when I look better? Will I accept my current life as it is or will I rebel  against  it? Digging deep inside myself is really scaring me, I can’t predict what will be the results and what will be the effect of this process  on my current life? Do I fear looking for my own happiness? 
I think that sometimes we may fear or wrongly believe that the happiness of  our beloved ones may be harmed while we are looking for our own happiness.