I had a limiting belief


One of the topics that I found so interesting in coaching studies was limiting beliefs. I was astonished of the fact that we may fail to do something because of our belief not because of our capabilities. We all think we are not able to do something because we are not talented enough but actually it may be just a belief we hold about ourselves. By holding a limiting belief we close all the doors in front of ourselves. We deprive ourselves from the available opportunities that may bring us happiness and success. 
For long years, writing was a big challenge for me. At school I hated creative writing. I was studying Arabic, English and French and I wasn’t good at writing in any of these three languages. I lived for long years with the belief that I am not good at writing. I believed that I am talented in mathematics and numbers so I joined Engineering faculty and although I loved languages and literature I avoided all faculties of arts because of my belief. I thought I won’t be successful in such studies because it needs a certain level of writing capabilities. Even writing reports and emails at work was challenging to me. It took me some time to get used to writing reports. I wasn’t able to write any letters to friends and family members who were living abroad, I found it uninteresting and I preferred to talk on the phone. I always thought that people who were talented in writing were blessed; they can express and communicate their feelings and their thoughts to the world. I admired novelists, poets, journalists and writers. I liked writing but I believed I can’t do it. I never thought I would blog and publish my posts one day.  
One day I found that keeping a blog is a requirement for my coaching graduation. I had to start a blog and to journal regularly about my learning. My first blog post was really funny, just few lines to tell that I am starting my blog; actually it was an ice breaking post. I needed to write anything to start and to publish it. Then I decided to write about different experiences in my life, I found that writing about my thoughts and my feelings in different situations was helpful, it was easier for me to write about my experiences. It took me more than twenty years to discover that I am not that bad at writing. I have two blogs now one in Arabic and this one in English and in addition I joined an international blog where I will post with writers from different countries all over the world. What is really amazing is that some of my readers expressed that they liked my writing style and they think that I am talented. I know that I am not a novelist but at least I can write and communicate my thoughts to people as I always wished. Now I dream of writing a book :):). Yes, why not? If you don’t have a limiting belief the sky will be the limit for your dreams.
“You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. Create a strong belief in yourself and what you want.”  Marcia Wieder
So changing your beliefs is not impossible; with every success you realize your belief in yourself and your self confidence will rise. 
If you have a dream but your beliefs are holding you back, ask yourself these 2 questions:
– How will my life look like without this belief?
– What is the worst that could happen if I fail?  
If nobody will die or will be severely hurt just believe in yourself, go on for your dream and give it a try. If you fail once, find another way and give it a try again, keep trying and don’t give up. Remember that successful people face failure as anybody else; so accept failure because it is your only way to learn how to succeed. Don’t let your limiting belief deprive you from fully enjoying your life and realizing your dreams.
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What does self-love mean to you?

When we love someone we forget everything and anything; our main focus becomes the person we love. We become so caring and so tender. We think only of how to please them, how to make them happy, comfortable and satisfied. We may forget our own needs but we will never forget their needs. It’s easy for us to love our parents, our spouses, our kids, our friends, our neighbors or whomever we may know but we think it’s very difficult to love ourselves.
Self-love is one of the things that many of us may find extremely challenging. I remember when I heard the term self-love for the first time, it sounded weird to me. The word self-love is related to selfishness, it’s someone who loves themselves and don’t think about others. We are not taught how to love ourselves. So strange! When we don’t love someone we neglect, under value, disrespect, and are not willing to forgive them. So if you don’t love yourself you will neglect, under value, disrespect and not be willing to forgive yourself. This is typically what is happening to many of us. We are so harsh to ourselves, although we can forgive others for their mistakes, we don’t forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Although we can be kind to others we can’t be kind to ourselves. We can be patient with others but we can’t be patient with ourselves. We do our best to make others happy while we don’t even know what makes us happy. We extremely care about others needs while we don’t care about our own needs. It’s unfair. 
The above was a part of the post I was trying to write a few days ago about self-love but I couldn’t go further. Although I found the topic so interesting, I didn’t find anything else to say but yesterday I went through a negative experience that made me feel frustrated, down and started to blame myself. I felt so stressed out, but after giving it some thought, I asked myself why I was so harsh to myself, I have done nothing wrong, it is normal that sometimes things don’t go the way I wanted. Would I blame myself this way if I had enough self-love, self-acceptance and self-trust?  I think not. When we have enough self-love and self-acceptance, we are kinder and tenderer to ourselves. We acknowledge, appreciate, and value whatever we do even when the results are not as we expected. We believe we did our best; we acknowledge our effort and even reward ourselves. Since I believed that I have done my best, I decided to acknowledge myself for the work I have done so far, reward myself and take a day off. I intend to relax and meet some friends and enjoy my day with them. I invite you to do the same if you have worked hard for the past few days; just reward and acknowledge yourself for what you have done so far. 
“Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you?”
Absolutely true! I think it is logical. If we don’t know how to love ourselves how can others love us or how will we be able to love others? If we don’t know how to be happy, how will others be able to make us happy or how will we be able to make others happy? It’s not that hard to love and value yourself but if you don’t know how to do it; just become yourself your best friend and think how you would treat your best friend. You will immediately know how to treat yourself and how to love yourself.

100% Commitment is Heaven

A few weeks ago, a peer coach put a post on a Facebook group page and I liked it so much. The post said, “100% commitment is heaven. 99% commitment is sheer hell. When you are 100% committed, you don’t think about whether you want to or whether you should; you just do. With 99% commitment, there is always a voice in your head questioning whether you should or shouldn’t do something. Commit 100% and just do it!” The post made me recall many experiences and situations I went through in my life. It made me recall how I acted before learning the real meaning of commitment and how my life totally changed when I learned the difference between commitment and trying.


When I was younger, I thought that commitment was related to respecting and following the rules and laws only. I thought we had to commit only to things that we couldn’t make any choices about, what was imposed on us. But when I was allowed to choose, the option of trying governed my life. I was 100% committed in my studies at school and college because I had no other choice. I had to do it and in the best way, no excuses were acceptable, no trials or failures were allowed. When I had the choice, I adopted the trying option as it seemed safer. I preferred to keep the door half closed so I could give up whenever I wanted. I don’t know why I lived this way for many years. Most probably because I grew up in an environment with a lot of restrictions and prohibitions that made the word commitment look ugly for me or may be because I didn’t know how living by the trying option in mind all the time is an energy drainer and time waster. Maybe I thought it made life easier especially when we face challenges.

The first time I realized how the option of trying has influenced my life was in the module commitment versus trying, one of the modules I studied in coaching. It’s a very powerful tool to use to help the coach explain to their client that how trying means they are allowing doubt to creep in and hence they are allowing themselves to make excuses and normally failure will be the end result. But with total commitment it is sure that they will reach their goals and realize success. Yes, now I can see clearly how by using “I will try” I was allowing myself to not move forward and make excuses. I realized that the goals that I could achieve are the ones that I am committed to 100%, the ones that I didn’t ever use “I will try” with. I didn’t even remember this word all along the path toward my goal.

“If you make the unconditional commitment to reach your most important goals, if the strength of your decision is sufficient, you will find the way and the power to achieve your goals” ~ Robert Conklin~

Absolutely, this is exactly what happened with me. I remember one of my coaches saying to me: “Just choose which way you want to go and close the door behind you and never look back. Just look and move forward toward your goal” and that’s exactly what I did and I totally forgot about all what I left behind me and I am sure that’s why I could reach my goal of being a certified coach. Once I took the decision to quit my job and switch to the coaching career everything looked different. I even forgot how scary it was to think about the consequences of this decision. What will my life be like if I couldn’t get certified? What will I do if I fail to do it? What if…? What if…? But what really helped me is to totally commit to my success and that’s exactly what happened. Although I have big challenges to face in my new career, in my country, I feel more grateful every day that I made the decision and took this path. It’s my passion and I will commit to it for the rest of my life.

My first advice to you is to totally erase the word “I will try” from your vocabulary, and my second advice if you have a goal and you really want to reach it is to commit to it 100%, which means see the path as a one way road, no looking back, just go forward. You may move at different paces at different times, it’s acceptable and normal. You may ask for support or help that’s acceptable as well, but never ever give up. As long as you are committed and take actions you will surely reach your destination.

Gratitude, the way to happiness


Another post from my blog My happiness journey



     Gratitude is to be content and thankful in every moment of your day.  It is to accept genuinely, thankfully, peacefully and with contentment whatever happens. A state of mind that could bring satisfaction and peace. When I try to visualize how my life will look like if I could live in gratitude, I see a life full of serenity, peace and bliss. It’ s heaven.

      I remember the first time my coach asked me to start a gratitude journal to help me shift my focus from what, I think, is missing in my life to what I already have and how helpful it was. I noticed again many graces I used to take for granted. The gratitude journal was one of the tools that helped me to improve my relationship with my mother. In my gratitude journal I mentioned that I am grateful for having my both parents alive and how supportive they  are to me. Then when I thought what I am thankful for them for, I realized that I am thankful for them for many things and my mother’s criticism and interference in my life were just a way to show her interest and care. Since then my relationship with my mother has totally changed and improved due to my gratitude perspective and journal. 

      Living with a gratitude feeling in all aspects of your life is not easy and needs practice to make it deep and  ingrained. Gratitude for things that you take for granted is helpful to notice the gifts  you keep receiving in every moment of your life. To realize the value of the things you take for granted just imagine your life without it. You never noticed that the pure fresh water is a grace because you find it whenever you need it, but imagine how your life would look like if you had to make great effort to have a glass of water. Imagine that all the things that you take for granted like water, air, sunlight, your senses, your home, your family, your health …etc are gone. How your life will  look like? Then think how will you feel when they come back one by one again. Sure you will eventually realize how valuable they are.

       To start living with a gratitude perspective you need to give up complaining. Complaining is a sign of lack of gratitude. So to strengthen your sense of gratitude you need to observe yourself and consciously make the right choice, either gratitude and gain the satisfaction and positive energy it brings or complaining and accept its negative energy in addition to the harm it brings to your health and your life.

Mommy guilt (1)

Guilt is “a feelingof worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong,such as causing harm to another person”Cambridge dictionariesonline
According to the meaningit’s a feeling you have because you have done something wrong, but Ithink that sometimes it can be just a doubt that what you did has harmedsomeone and you live with this feeling torturing you.
The feeling of guilt hasdeveloped inside of me ever since I was young because of the continuous blameof my parents with every mistake I made. My parents were very generous on reproachand criticism; I think that they believed that this was the best way to make uslearn to be careful not to make mistakes.  The focus they were giving tothe mistakes was extremely huge while the encouragement and acknowledgement hadno place in our lives. Until may be a few years ago, I defended myself all thetime. Even in my inner self-talk, I always focused on how I will defend myselfwhen my mother starts reproaching me. It was bitter feeling guilty and havingto defend myself all the time even when I didn’t harm anyone. I just gavemyself the right to do something different than what shewanted me to do. 
Becoming a mom developeda bigger feeling of guilt inside of me; a feeling that is depriving mostwomen and moms from enjoying their lives. I had a full time job when I gavebirth to my first son. During the first 2 years of his life, I used to spend 4hours daily to commute from home to work and back. We used to leave the housetogether at 6 AM and be back at 6 PM. I sent him to a nursery at the age of 3months and I left him from 8 AM to 4 PM since the first day. From the age ofthree months to the age of 5 years old he used to go to the nursery from 8 AMto 4 PM 5 days-a-week, and the feeling of guilt was poisoning my life. When he was4 years old, I had to travel frequently and leave him with my husband ormy mother. I had to be away for 4 to 5 days-a-week, 2 to 3 times-a-monthfor 10 months or almost a year and of course the feeling of guilt was killingme. I think he felt how the guilt was torturing me, so in turn he manipulatedme and punished me in every ways. When I think back about those days of mylife I can see how the negative feeling had left me drained, suffering andunhappy just because I thought that I am harming my son by leaving him at avery young age at the nursery. I can’t forget how hard I cried the first day Isent him to the nursery; I felt like I was abandoning him. For me, my feelingof guilt was mainly because I was leaving my son to others to take care of forlong hours, I didn’t have enough time to take care of him or spend quality timewith him. 
It took me many longyears to get rid of that feeling and to understand that feeling guilty is oneof the reasons why I felt drained and unhappy all the time. One time I talkedabout it to a counselor, and she told me that it was not a question of how muchtime you spend with your kids, but how you spend that time with them.Since then I started doing my best to make the time I spend with my kidsenjoyable for me and for them. I learned about quality time. I learned that theconcept of the mother being available for her kids 24/7 is not correct. Irealized that the meaning of a good mother and a good wife thatI inherited from my mother and my culture is not useful for me anymoreand is not doing me any good. I had to rethink and redefine it according to myvalues, my priorities, my ambitions and my own definition of happiness.
Does my story soundfamiliar? Does it sound like yours or someone you know? I am sure that thereare hundreds, thousands or may be millions of women who had similar experiencesor stories in their lives, especially when their kids were young. On my post ofnext week I will share with you more information about the feeling of guilt andhow to deal with it. If you have any questions, stories or tips to deal withthe feeling of guilt, please share them with me.

A letter to an amazing woman




Dear sister,

    I am writing thisletter to share my thoughts and my feelings with you; you are the only one whocan understand what I think and how I feel. I know you go through a lot ofstruggles and fights every day like me. I want to share with you a greatexperience that I went through one day.

I live a life like yours; working,taking care of my family, giving birth to my lovely children, raising them,feeding them, looking after them, doing my best to make them feel comfortableand happy, taking a lot of responsibilities at work and at home. I am trying mybest to prove to everybody that I am a successful working person, a good wife,a good mother and a good daughter. I have done all that I can to pleaseeverybody. At work, I worked extra hours to get my work done on time. I alwaysfound the energy and the time to take my kids to their workouts, or take themout for some fun, even when I was very exhausted. I had to go see my parentsand tolerate their blame while I needed someone to give me a tap on the back. Igave up opportunities to travel— something that I really love and enjoy—to meetnever-ending project deadlines. I felt unsatisfied, unfulfilled andunhappy. My days and my life were a long list of tasks for everybody elsewith nothing for me, for my happiness, and my self-care. Although I have donemy best to please everybody, they were rarely pleased with whatI did; on the contrary, they criticized me more and more.

One day I realized that I couldn’tgo further. I needed to find a solution. I felt totally unhappy andunsatisfied. I needed to make a huge change but I didn’t know where to start orhow to start. At that time I thought it was a time management issue so I lookedfor books about time management. I came by a book that made me realize afterreading it that my problem was not about time; it was mainly a mindset issue.It’s my way of thinking, my way of living, my way of allowing unimportantthings to consume my time, leaving me unsatisfied and unhappy at the end of theday. I wasn’t putting myself and my happiness as a priority. The book thatI mentioned before made a huge change in my life. I had gotten the book in 2000.The author of the book is one of the most famous personal coaches in the world, andever since I read it, I started searching for and learning about coaching.Now that I became a coach myself I decided to offer my coaching to WOMEN allover the world and especially on the HAPPINESS aspect of life. 

Dear sister, 

    The amazing woman Iwant to address my message to is YOU, every woman all over the world. Yes, youare amazing. No one can tolerate what you are tolerating for your family, yourchildren, your parents, and your friends. The support you are offering everyonepassing your way is fantastic. No one can bring happiness to your family as youcan. No one cares about your children and fights to protect them as you do. Noone is giving up and denying their happiness for the happiness of others as youare.  I admit you are amazing, caring, tender, loving, courageous,sacrificing and strong. I admit you are great, but there is something I want towhisper in your ear “You can’t make others really happy unless you are“.Your happiness doesn’t mean you give up happiness of others. Your self-caredoesn’t mean you give up caring for others. Your self-love doesn’t mean yougive up loving others. Showing self-care and self-love and looking for yourhappiness means you appreciate, value, and respect who you are. Be sure that asmuch as you appreciate yourself, your family will appreciate you and what youdo. As much as you value yourself, your family will value you. As much as yourespect yourself, your family and the entire world will respect you. So just beproud of who you are and show enough self-care and self-love. You will feelhappier, more confident and you will shine. 

“Youeducate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate ageneration.”  ~ Brigham Young ~

Can you imagine that by taking careof your happiness, you are teaching others how to be happy and this is exactlywhat you aim for, don’t you do your best to make others happy? In thisworld, there are millions of stories of amazing women with achievements thatvaried from fighting for their families and their children to make their livesbetter to leading their countries and their people to greatness. In history,you can find plenty of such stories. Don’t you like to be one of these rolemodels? I am offering you a small secret, just learn to make yourselfhappy and you will be a role model for everyone else. You will shine andilluminate others lives, you will energize and inspire others. You will teachmany others how to be happy; something that all the humanity has been lookingfor for centuries.

Starting this week, I invite you todedicate only one hour daily for yourself to do something you like. Don’t say Idon’t have one hour per day, you have 24 hours a day and one hour is not toomuch for your happiness and your wellness. Listen to music, walk in the openair, meet a friend, have your hair cut, read a book, go to the movie, or attenda seminar. Do anything that you like; just relax and enjoy every minute ofthese sixty minutes and write down how you felt after this hour. You can havethe seven hours of the week organized in different ways, half a day once perweek, three and half hours twice a week, two hours and half every second day orone hour daily. Manage them the way that suits you. The important thing is tocommit to it as an important appointment in your week. Plan ahead for it, anddon’t give it up for any reason. You will feel the impact thishour will have on your life.

Want to be great?


“You don’t have to begreat to start, but you have to start to be great” ~Zig Ziglar~


So true! How many timesdid you procrastinate doing something because you thought you weren’t ready yet,that you needed to think more about it, or that you need to prepare some more? Youkeep thinking and thinking and over-thinking, then planning and searching, thenmaking excuses that you want to be well prepared and ready for taking the rightactions. And do you finally take any actions? Most probably not.

Actually, it’s your fearthat is holding you back. It may be fear of failure, fear of makingmistakes, fear of the unknown, fear of getting out of your comfort zone, andsometimes it’s fear of success. Anyway, whatever the reason of your fear, youwon’t be able to overcome it unless you start and take action. To achieve agoal you don’t need to be professional; all you need is to have a clear visionof what you want to do and how to do it then START. You will make mistakes, sowhat? It is an opportunity to learn the right way to do something. You may fail;the greatest champions and the best scientists have failed but they never gaveup. How many times did you have a dream and you gave it up just because youdidn’t believe you could do it then you found someone else do it? The onlydifference between you and them is that they believed they could, while you didnot. They felt fear and they overcame it, but you did not. They started and theykept going toward their dreams, but you did not even start. 

The first step you take isyour first step towards greatness. If you still can’t start, reflect on thesequestions. They can help you gain clarity about what is holding you back:
1- What would I do if Ihad no fear?
2- What would I do if Iwas sure I would never fail?
3- What would I do if Ibelieved there isn’t a word called “mistakes”? There are only optionswith different outcomes; some will lead to my goal while others willnot and I will learn what the right ones are.

Start today, look for agoal that you gave up and see which action you can take immediately to bringyou closer to your goal and take it. Actions create the momentum that you needto keep going, so keep taking actions, even small ones, to keep the momentum.Your pace may differ from time to time. It is OK but never stop, for it will behard to restart again.

22 tips to keep yourself motivated (continued)


On my post of last week I shared eleven tips to getand keep you motivated while you are going through life and in this post Ishare the rest.

12-  Ask what’s the worst thatcould happen if you give up your goal?
       Visualize how you will be;how will your life look if you give up your goal, and what are the results ofgiving up your goal. Visualizing the outcomes can keep you motivated to work onyour goal especially if the image you visualized is not the one you desire ofyourself or your life.

13- What’s holding you back? 
       Discovering why you arestuck or unable to take action is the first step to solve the issue? To find asolution you need a clear vision of the problem before being able to handle it.Is it a fear? Is it a lack of self-confidence? Is it a belief? What can you doto deal with it? Sometimes you may need the support of a professional coach todeal with it and get rid of the reason for good.

14- If not now, when? 
      If you don’t start working onyour goal now, when will you?  Most probably you will keep procrastinatingfor good. If you aren’t able to take action on your goal now, this means thatyou are stuck and need to find out the reason. Find out the simplest action youcan take to start, do it, and you will feel the difference. 

15- Fear is normal.
       Do you feel fearful ofdoing something new although you badly want to do it or fearful of taking anyactions toward a goal?  Who of us didn’tfeel fearful when we started doing something new? Every one of us feels fear;the difference is there are people who take action despite their fears andothers who allow fear to hold them back. Always remind yourself that fear isnormal and that every one of us experiences it at one point or another in ourlives. Your support group or a professional coach can help you to deal withyour fears.

16- Put structures in place to remindyourself.
      We tend to forget the change wewant to make or the goal we want to achieve. Putting structures in place to remind us of our goal can be so helpful.A structure can be an affirmation written on a piece of paper and kept indifferent places in your home and office. Inspiring pictures, reminders on yourcell phone or any other ideas can be used. What is essential is to find the ones that work best for you.

17- Keep quiet. 
       Learn when to talk aboutyour goals and with whom. Some people can be a great source of support and motivationwhile others may resent your improvement, so it’s better to keep quiet. Keepyour goals and your success to yourself in presence of the latter.

18- Failure is normal. 
      Fear of failure is one of themost common reasons people are stuck and unable to move forward. However, failureis essential for our learning. To reach any destination there are several options,and to know which one is the right path we may have to go through several untilwe reach the right one. All of us have failed at a certain point in our lives,and our reaction toward this failure determined where we are now. Justaccepting failure as a part of the journey can make a great difference in yourlife.

19- What inspires you?
       Keep inspiring resourcesnearby. Find what works for you, movies, songs, books, affirmations, quotationsor anything that inspires you, and refer back to them when you need amotivation boost. You may set a daily time for reflecting on one of theseresources to bring you motivation, or do it when needed.

20- Create strategy and reusewhat worked for you. 
      Knowing what you want to do isthe first step, and knowing how you will reach it is the second one. To getsomewhere you need to know very clearly what your destination is and how youwill get there. Make your plan. What obstacles might you face? How will youovercome these obstacles? Who can help you or support you along your way? Whatresources do you have? What strategies worked for you before that you can reuse?A clear vision of how you will reach your goal is crucial to your successin reaching your goal.

21- Timeline.
       Be very specific when youexpect to achieve your goal and every sub-goal.  A plan with veryspecific dates brings more clarity and momentum, it helps keep you accountableand avoid procrastinating. Specific start dates and end dates are veryimportant.

22- Enjoy the journey and celebrate.
      Focusing on the end result andbeing attached to it can be frustrating because achieving a goal may take along time.  Forgetting a while about theend result and focusing on the actions you are taking, the momentum created andthe sense of achievement you feel with every step you take can be soempowering. Enjoy the journey, the learning, the achievement and celebrate yoursuccesses.

Bonus Tip: Acknowledgement. Acknowledge yourself foryour achievements. Acknowledge others for their achievements. Sometimesacknowledgement is all we need to keep going. It brings you and yoursurroundings great energy, motivation and love.

Hope you find these tips helpful and I welcome yourthoughts, your questions and your comments.
      

Leaving my fears behind

For me 2011 were one of the best years of my life, it was the year of achievement, change, clarity and great awareness. During this year, I knew myself more than any time else. I could realize how I see and treat myself. I learned what I need more of and what I need to let go. I learned for the first time in my whole life that I am responsible for my choices and that these choices create my life; so I am responsible for most of what is happening in my life. It was a great awareness that brought to me huge clarity and now I think I can live a happier and more fulfilling life.

One of the things that I learned in 2011 is to say “No”. “No” to time wasters, “No” to energy drainers, “No” to anything that doesn’t matter to me and won’t bring me any value or benefit; All this learning I intend to take it with me in 2012, only one “No” I will leave, it’s “No” to new opportunities, trying new things that I don’t know. I used to avoid anything I am not familiar with, I wasn’t fan of trying new things, even when I decide to try something new it must be tried by someone else and they found it OK. I wasn’t ready to take any risk. I was limiting myself in a very small area and depriving myself from the pleasure of living a new experience with the pleasure and fun it may bring. 

Eventually I decided to break this limiting fear of trying new things, I had an opportunity to talk on a program in our local radio and as usual I had this negative inner self talk “What if I couldn’t talk confidently? What if I made any mistakes? My voice is not OK….. ” and due to this self talk I thought about apologizing but I got a question that totally shifted my attention and my mind ” Why don’t I look at it from a curiosity perspective? How a radio program is recorded? How this place look like? How the announcers work?” and I found myself  excited about the idea and so curious to go and live this moment. I could convince myself that it’s just a talk with a friend about what is coaching and what I do as a coach, I’ve done it before with my friends and all noticed how excited I am about it so why not think of it the same way. I did it and it worked very well. We talked for more than an hour and they recorded 3 parts that will be submitted on their weekly program for three successive weeks. 

It was exciting and a great achievement to beat this limiting fear and since then I decided to leave the “No for doing something new” behind me forever and live with a new mindset, to look for every opportunity to try new things. This is the best way to rediscover  my undiscovered talents and abilities.

This post is part of a blog hop series sponsored by studentsand graduate Coaches of ICA. Please hop on over to their posts and see whatelse you can learn about ”What did you learn from 2011 that you’ll change in2012?”.
Joyful Growth Coach
Coachinu
Intuitive Coaching
Learner Focused Coaching
Bodacious Possibilities
Turning Stones Coaching and Consultancy
 What I am is What I Choose

http://whatiamiswhatichoose.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/what-did-you-learn-from-2011-that-youll-change-in-2012/


Role of beliefs in shaping our lives


Webuild our belief system all along our lives. With every experience we gothrough and according to the outcome of the experience we gain a new beliefabout ourselves and our abilities and depending on this belief we have somefeelings that we behave according to.

Thebeliefs we gained when we were young have huge impact on our lives even afterwe grew up. Think of a situation when you were young and where you wereacknowledged, appraised and encouraged, how do you feel every time you rememberit or when you go through a similar experience? Think of another one where youwere blamed and criticized, how do you feel about it? Do you accept to gothrough it again? Forme, in the first situation, I feel proud of my achievement, self confident,valuable and believe in my capabilities. In the second I may feel guilty,ashamed, un-confident and I may avoid going through the same experience again.In both cases the outcome of the experience is the cause of my belief and forsure if I had another outcome in both experiences, I would have a differentbelief about it although I am the same person.

Weall had gained a set of empowering beliefs about ourselves and our capabilitiesduring our childhood and youth and these beliefs were due to the outcomes of the different experiences we went through, these beliefs are serving us, supportingus and they are the reason behind our success and happiness. And another set ofdisempowering and limiting beliefs which are the reason behind our lack of selfconfidence, self esteem and unhappiness. I like to call it limiting more thandisempowering because it expresses how these beliefs are preventing us fromreaching the unlimited opportunities we can find in life. These beliefs causenegative feelings and negative self talk that always tell us that we are notgood, we don’t deserve, why make effort while we know that we will fail, it’suseless to try, and many other patterns of negative self talk. The limitingbeliefs and the negative self talks are a fact in our life, who of us didn’texperience these kinds of negative thoughts? But the difference betweendifferent people is how they deal with their inner negative self talk. Theessential is to be aware when the negative self talk starts and how to silenceit.

Itisn’t impossible to replace our disempowering and limiting beliefs by morepositive ones that serve and support us to achieve more success but we need togo through some steps to reach the goal of getting rid of a limiting belief.
Iwill share with you some tips that worked for me to let go my limiting beliefs andreplace this negative self talk about myself by a more positive one.
  • ·        Repeatingaffirmations (positive and empowering statements) daily. It brings a greatpositive energy.
  • ·        Keepinga list of my previous successes and achievements and reviewing it regularly orwhen I feel down.
  • ·        Writingabout different situations I went through and their outcomes and examine howthis limiting belief has badly influenced my life and think about how toreplace it.
  • ·        Surroundmyself with positive people to support me when I am down and to remind me ofthe positive and the achievements in my life.

Theseare some structures that worked for me, so feel free to share (in the commentsbox) what worked for you in the past or what you think may work for you to letgo your limiting beliefs; and feel free to send your questions, I will be gladto support you.