“The World is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts, we can change the world.” ~H.M. Tomlinson
- Prayers and asking support and strength from Allah brings peace, and the feeling of being protected and supported.
- Question the cost of your negative thoughts and attitude. Ask yourself what are the negative thoughts and attitude are costing you and how it is influencing your life? Physically, emotionally, and spiritually and compare it to the benefit you get when you have more positive thoughts and attitude.
- Repeat positive affirmations daily every morning (affirmation is a written or oral statement that confirms something is true ). It is so helpful to bring more positive energy into your day. In tough situations when you feel un-confident or fearful start repeating affirmations about how confident and strong you are. One of the affirmations I like to use is “Whatever happens I will handle it” it brings me a lot of confidence in my ability to handle any situation so I feel more peaceful and secure.
- Keep a journal of the situations where you kept a positive attitude, how did you feel? What thoughts did you have? How did it influence you and what outcomes did you get? to remind yourself of that experience and what to learn from it to apply this learning in the future.
- Surround yourself with positive friends and people, they will help you keep a positive attitude.
- Stick inspiring quotes everywhere at home, at the office, in your car; or you may collect inspiring quotes in a small copy book and refer back to them daily and whenever you feel thinking negatively.
- Journal about your negative thoughts and feelings and write down several arguments to counter it.
- Keep a gratitude journal and write daily 5 things you are grateful for to remind yourself of all the blessings you have and to help you shift your focus from what is missing in your life to what you already have.
- Detach yourself from the surrounding environment and don’t allow negativity of others impact you. Remind yourself that if others are anxious or nervous or fearful this has nothing to do with you, it’s their feelings and their thoughts not yours and you don’t have to feel or think the same. You have the power over your feelings and your thoughts.
- Live in the moment, forget about the past and don’t worry for the future. You have a moment to live and you have the choice to make it a happy or a painful one, which choice you will make?
A few weeks ago, a peer coach put a post on a Facebook group page and I liked it so much. The post said, “100% commitment is heaven. 99% commitment is sheer hell. When you are 100% committed, you don’t think about whether you want to or whether you should; you just do. With 99% commitment, there is always a voice in your head questioning whether you should or shouldn’t do something. Commit 100% and just do it!” The post made me recall many experiences and situations I went through in my life. It made me recall how I acted before learning the real meaning of commitment and how my life totally changed when I learned the difference between commitment and trying.
When I was younger, I thought that commitment was related to respecting and following the rules and laws only. I thought we had to commit only to things that we couldn’t make any choices about, what was imposed on us. But when I was allowed to choose, the option of trying governed my life. I was 100% committed in my studies at school and college because I had no other choice. I had to do it and in the best way, no excuses were acceptable, no trials or failures were allowed. When I had the choice, I adopted the trying option as it seemed safer. I preferred to keep the door half closed so I could give up whenever I wanted. I don’t know why I lived this way for many years. Most probably because I grew up in an environment with a lot of restrictions and prohibitions that made the word commitment look ugly for me or may be because I didn’t know how living by the trying option in mind all the time is an energy drainer and time waster. Maybe I thought it made life easier especially when we face challenges.
The first time I realized how the option of trying has influenced my life was in the module commitment versus trying, one of the modules I studied in coaching. It’s a very powerful tool to use to help the coach explain to their client that how trying means they are allowing doubt to creep in and hence they are allowing themselves to make excuses and normally failure will be the end result. But with total commitment it is sure that they will reach their goals and realize success. Yes, now I can see clearly how by using “I will try” I was allowing myself to not move forward and make excuses. I realized that the goals that I could achieve are the ones that I am committed to 100%, the ones that I didn’t ever use “I will try” with. I didn’t even remember this word all along the path toward my goal.
“If you make the unconditional commitment to reach your most important goals, if the strength of your decision is sufficient, you will find the way and the power to achieve your goals” ~ Robert Conklin~
Absolutely, this is exactly what happened with me. I remember one of my coaches saying to me: “Just choose which way you want to go and close the door behind you and never look back. Just look and move forward toward your goal” and that’s exactly what I did and I totally forgot about all what I left behind me and I am sure that’s why I could reach my goal of being a certified coach. Once I took the decision to quit my job and switch to the coaching career everything looked different. I even forgot how scary it was to think about the consequences of this decision. What will my life be like if I couldn’t get certified? What will I do if I fail to do it? What if…? What if…? But what really helped me is to totally commit to my success and that’s exactly what happened. Although I have big challenges to face in my new career, in my country, I feel more grateful every day that I made the decision and took this path. It’s my passion and I will commit to it for the rest of my life.
My first advice to you is to totally erase the word “I will try” from your vocabulary, and my second advice if you have a goal and you really want to reach it is to commit to it 100%, which means see the path as a one way road, no looking back, just go forward. You may move at different paces at different times, it’s acceptable and normal. You may ask for support or help that’s acceptable as well, but never ever give up. As long as you are committed and take actions you will surely reach your destination.
The amazing woman Iwant to address my message to is YOU, every woman all over the world. Yes, youare amazing. No one can tolerate what you are tolerating for your family, yourchildren, your parents, and your friends. The support you are offering everyonepassing your way is fantastic. No one can bring happiness to your family as youcan. No one cares about your children and fights to protect them as you do. Noone is giving up and denying their happiness for the happiness of others as youare. I admit you are amazing, caring, tender, loving, courageous,sacrificing and strong. I admit you are great, but there is something I want towhisper in your ear “You can’t make others really happy unless you are“.Your happiness doesn’t mean you give up happiness of others. Your self-caredoesn’t mean you give up caring for others. Your self-love doesn’t mean yougive up loving others. Showing self-care and self-love and looking for yourhappiness means you appreciate, value, and respect who you are. Be sure that asmuch as you appreciate yourself, your family will appreciate you and what youdo. As much as you value yourself, your family will value you. As much as yourespect yourself, your family and the entire world will respect you. So just beproud of who you are and show enough self-care and self-love. You will feelhappier, more confident and you will shine.
The second one is taking actions, even small ones. Procrastinating till later, till you are ready, or till everything is perfect is not a good way to create motivation. Taking regular actions toward our goal encourages and empowers us to take more steps and more actions, it brings momentum and with every step taken we build our self confidence.
What useful strategies or tips worked for you to improve your self confidence and overcome your fears?